English Football World Cup Manager, Gareth Southgate is an example of the quiet understated leader who uses similar human and respectful skills adopted by an experienced Family Mediator

Gareth Southgate, England’s World Cup Team manager has attracted a great deal of attention  as not only has he revived the style of wearing a waistcoat but he has also reinvented decent,  courteous and respectful behaviour to the game of football at the highest level  and with such great  effect.

I understand from what I have read about Gareth Southgate, he is a bright, humble and decent person who is commanding the respect of so many people by his skills of offering back a basic respect to people. This has been recognised by not only his previous footballing team mates  but also by the original cynics who said he would be unlikely to be able to do the job as England’s manager, because he is too nice.  Oh, how they have been proved wrong!

Gareth Southgate is not a bullish person and I have read that his humility has been central to his connection formed with his team of “millennials”.  The archaic view that for someone to make impact requires them to be an authoritarian and a bit of a bully, has clearly been overturned.

Gareth has been described as a shy man, in his youth.  He has been married for twenty years and he has two children.  He is known for his excellent tactical and creative skills alongside strong emotional intelligence which means he connects well with people.

When I read comments that this one man has brought a new concept of leadership to this beautiful game, my heart warmed as people are so influenced by the world of football.   Further, Southgate is described as an understated icon.  This hit a note with me as in my world of family mediation, it is the understated individual who offers so much depth and understanding of others and who may often offer help to   people towards meeting their own goals and aspirations.

Mediation is only witnessed by people who find themselves in dispute but football is in the lives of most of us. So, where better than in the world of football for there to be such a high level of opportunity to free the dreams of many.

I see the role of a family mediator as someone who tries to bring depth and self belief back to a person who often has lost all sense of self credibility.   A bad relationship or divorce or family breakdown can destroy the strongest of people.  Gareth Southgate, who, as a more humble and understated person and who is aware of his personal skills in  that he can help others to believe in themselves to manifest and demonstrate their skills without seeking adulation, has the ability to demonstrate these skills to others.

I have read of the comparison drawn between the conflict, passion and dirty tricks of earlier football matches before Southgate became manager. These are described as the knickerbockers glory type of victory whereas the Southgate method is the more sweated-out and hard-won type of victory that has been described as the pleasurable English scone or toasted tea cake victory.

A similar description can be offered to an experienced family mediator who will wish to adopt calmness within the process.  Gareth Southgate has“calmness in his eyes and modest certainty and even a soothing balm to what is described as our battered national soul instead of the noise of the loudest, crudest, most divisive noise in our culture”.  In mediation, I recognise the cruel behaviour often witnessed when trying to facilitate difficult and sensitive negotiations between an angry couples who once loved each.

My remit is to minimise the risk of those clients coming into mediation from descending into a pit of adversarial litigation which attracts misery, uncertainty and unaffordable bills.  There is always a choice however but the mediator’s remit is always to remain impartial so that the clients can learn to identify with the skills of the mediator and to start thinking again about their future.

The self belief of a good family mediator is akin to the beliefs attached to Gareth Southgate at this crucial time of the World Cup. He can do no wrong in terms of helping people to unify in supporting England in the World Cup when there are so many differences existing between us.

If you wish to uphold traditional values of politeness, understatement and self control and lack of flash then feel free to use the services of an experienced accredited family mediator to assist you in resolving your family dispute. It makes sense for so many and you will not be judged whatever the intensity of your situation.

Please contact Tricia Muzalewski, Wynn Mediation, at 612 – 614 London Road, Westcliffe on Sea, Essex SS0 9HW or by telephone: 01702 341241 or by email at enquiries@wynnmediation.com



PMM                                                                                                                                     July 2018